HELLO !

I wanna be up in the clouds, with you. 

    All this fucking bullshit that you remind me of, all the fucking shit that i want to stop thinking of. The only thing keeping me here are honestly the lives that depend on me. Ill Admit, im sick of everything, all the bullshit that i’ve created, all the fucking people that keep fucking coming at me. STOP please. i need a break, a breather if you will. Im on the edge and your pushing me. Already hit rock bottom enough, thanks. I dont want those unhealthy thoughts in my head ever again, even though they are somewhat there again, im trying to get my life together, dont you understand. 

New life resolution, Not getting involved AT ALL with anything that is involved with you, Im on a break . no more texts, no more checking up. NONE.

 All this, you make me question life, and i hate it, because i really hop that i dont give up, that i will get over this bullshit fucking speedbump life has given me.

god help me, 

please make life easier, ‘cause im honestly between a rock and a hard place;

forgive and forget, or forget and not forgive, neither can be done, even when it should.

/./

    Your mistakes catch up with you, haunt you, and make you feel like your the shittiest person alive. Why you keep bringing that up is beyond me, maybe you hate me as much as i hate you.  I honestly wish that you’d die, but i wont say it to your face because thats a horrible thing to say, what you deserve is beyond the depths of hell, and i really hope you get whats coming to you, and soon.

   Make amends ? To what ? All the bullshit youve created ? You make me feel like such a dumbfuck for actually trusting you, and you went and did the worse thing possible. I think youll be happy to know that youve sucessfully made me hate myself, and i think youd be proud of that.

   They say “its your fault, deal with it” but i can honestly say i can’t.  Remmebering the mistake that i made that had chnaged multiple lives, i feel so guilty that i can hardly look at you in the eyes anymore, and for that i apologize. You deserve more than what i offer and I Hope you can find it in your heart to one day forgive me. You say ” dont worry about it, its the past” I worry, darling. because something like that is not easy to forget, nor forgive. 

  So on a final note, to the person who hurt everyone that trusted you, Fuck you. I hope you get what you deserve, and that one day someone will be brave enough to come out and warn others what you have done, so there will be no more victims, as i know there are multiple.

  To the person who suffered most because of my inattentiveness, Im sorry. I truly am. You dont know how stupid i feel, how helpless and how useless i am. I hope that one day youll have the courage to face what had happened to you. Words cannot describe how guilty i am.

  And to myself. I hope one day you can live a day without this event in the back of your head, I hope that you will cheer up and stop hating yourself. You learn from your lessons, unfortunately.